I bought this book in hopes that it would help me deal with the narcissist in my life and after reading the raving reviews. The first part of the book helped me understand narcissism better. I will give it that. I learned about the different types of narcissists and I was able to realize what type of narcissist I was dealing with. But the practical aspects of the book, the recommendation and suggested actions when it comes to dealing with the narcissist in our lives, that actually set me up for failure more than success. And it took quite a bit to get to a practical section. After applying the advise suggested in this book, things between my narcissist and me got worse. Now I know better and more about NPD and there's no changing these people, no matter what you do. The author recommends re-mothering the person. Narcissists are never wrong and they project their flaws and insecurities on those around them. Therefore, I was not able to apply one single recommendation from this book successfully and our arguments got even worse. I got so frustrated. Re-mothering the narcissist? They will accuse you of being a control freak.
After putting that book down for good, I was offered much better advise from other sources who have been there. And the best recommendation that a person who suffered narcissistic abuse can get is to get away from the narcissist in his or her life as soon as possible. Going No Contact is the best advise that a victim could ever be given. If you cannot get away from the narcissist in your life, for example because you share custody of your children, then keep your contact to a minimum. But applying what this book suggest, heck, no!
There are other much better books that can help a victim than this one, like the ones listed below, not necessarily in that order, but worth a try each and everyone of them. Summarizing, I do not recommend Disarming the Narcissist. Either way, if you're a victim of abuse by someone with NPD, or you suspect the person might be a narcissist, first get support from certified professionals with actual experience with NPD, which is not something easy to detect in a person since a narcissist projects a charming image of themselves that can fool even the most trained individual. Get also support from the Domestic Abuse Hot Line, if needed. Don't do this alone. Recovery can take years, if not a lifetime. In the meantime, if you need to start your healing process on your own, if you need to learn more about NPD to find out if you may actually be dealing with NPD, try to get hold of any of these other books listed below.
Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
Psychopath Free (Expanded Edition): Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People
In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
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Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving & Thriving with the Self-Absorbed 平装
英语版本
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基本信息
- 语言 : 英语
- ISBN : 1608827607
- 品牌 : New Harbinger Publications
- 尺寸 : 15 x 1.4 x 22.6 cm
- 用户评分:
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此商品在美国亚马逊上最有用的商品评论
美国亚马逊:
4.1 颗星,最多 5 颗星
396 条评论

Michigan Hiker
2.0 颗星,最多 5 颗星
Not a read for someone currently being abused by a narcissist. There are much better books for that than this one.
2016年12月6日 -
已在美国亚马逊上发表已确认购买
432 个人发现此评论有用

CMc
1.0 颗星,最多 5 颗星
Dangerous -- Get out. This book will only lead to you being hurt longer.
2015年7月14日 -
已在美国亚马逊上发表已确认购买
This is not just a bad review; this is strong advice to not read this book, for your own good. This book is dangerous because it convinces people in relationships that they can learn to manage the narcissist's behaviors. If you really do believe the person in your life has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you should get resources to leave the relationship as soon as feasible and get help to recover from the damage that's already been done before you've been hurt more. Moreover, the advice wouldn't even work because it requires confronting them about how their behavior hurts you, and narcissists can't handle that. This book asks you to consider what about YOU triggers these reactions in you when the narcissistic acts in erratic and hurtful ways. No. Anyone would react like that to this systematic pattern of damaging behavior. Other reviews here are totally accurate when they say it is victim blaming, but when I was still in the situation I was willing to blame myself just like the narcissist I was dating did constantly. I regret having read this book because I stayed in a relationship based on its advice and now I have suffered for much longer than I needed to. I started re-reading it recently, now that I understand the behavior better, and realized what terrible advice this is and how this advice kept me in a damaging situation thinking I had some power when I didn't. If you are considering getting this book, instead pick one about how to recover from breaking up with or divorcing a narcissist. Also, I would be willing to bet you are keeping secret from your friends how bad the person's behavior really is in order to protect them or so you won't be embarrassed. Write an honest email to your friends telling them what you've been going through and asking for their support. They will be there for you more than you know. I promise you that staying is worse than you think right now and that leaving now is so much better than you realize. Please don't even read this book. I do not want you coming back in six months or a year saying how the advice in this book gave you false hope that things could be alright if you tried hard enough to deal with the narcissist's volatile behavior. When I bought this book I thought I needed to make it work, but I was wrong. I needed to protect myself and this book will give you the opposite advice. The dangerous part is that after the narcissist already has manipulated your thinking, you will believe that there is hope like the book says but at best it will prolong the crash and burn ending, with untold nights of wondering what you could do better between now and then. Other reviews said this and I thought I would be able to handle it better, but once the narcissist had already begun to affect me, this book just pulled me deeper in to thinking there was logic behind his pathology.
843 个人发现此评论有用

Mr. Green Jeans
1.0 颗星,最多 5 颗星
My wife and I read this book hoping to learn ...
2016年7月5日 -
已在美国亚马逊上发表已确认购买
My wife and I read this book hoping to learn how to deal with our narcissist son. The main theme is that you should kowtow to the narcissist and and give yourself a hug. Has the author ever dealt with a narcissist?
We gave all the compassion and empathy we could, but when we stepped out of line, and by that I mean we didn't fawn over a new toy he bought himself instead of buying a crib for our granddaughter, he disowned us for the fifth time.
So this book is nothing new to people dealing with narcissists, but the answers are wrong. The only way to deal with a narcissist is to cut them out of your life, get counseling to help you heal from the trauma they put you through and get on with your life.
We gave all the compassion and empathy we could, but when we stepped out of line, and by that I mean we didn't fawn over a new toy he bought himself instead of buying a crib for our granddaughter, he disowned us for the fifth time.
So this book is nothing new to people dealing with narcissists, but the answers are wrong. The only way to deal with a narcissist is to cut them out of your life, get counseling to help you heal from the trauma they put you through and get on with your life.
229 个人发现此评论有用

Janey
1.0 颗星,最多 5 颗星
CRAP book--and dangerous. It deserves ZERO stars.
2019年6月26日 -
已在美国亚马逊上发表已确认购买
This author cited on her You Tube channel that she's a narcissism expert (7 brief videos posted a year ago--not exactly a stellar showing). She's anything but. This is a dangerous book. A quote from one of her videos for targets of abuse who "see that little burning glimmer of light underneath . . . that shows some hope, some possibility for emotional change . . . and (are) inspired to find ways to influence their narcissistic partners or family members to get help." MAYBE for those with TRAITS of narcissism. But not for full-blown narcissists, which are the majority. Frankly, I suspect this AUTHOR is a narcissist--or at the least, a flying monkey (narc-related term) since she takes such a hopeful view of them. WHO in their right mind would advise anyone to try to work things out with a malicious human being INTENT on hurting others? Most narcissists are utterly RESISTANT to change. I CANNOT say enough bad things about this book. It would simply be tripe if it wasn't so dangerous. SO SORRY I wasted my money and time. Don't make the same mistake.
48 个人发现此评论有用